Thursday, November 07, 2002

alrighty folks...I've been away long enough, it's time I started writing here again

Things here have been insanely busy and with all these kids I should expect nothing else. Blogging has become a luxury that I really don't have time for but have decided I'll just have to squeeze in.

What better way to get back to this thing than with one of those silly 50 dumb questions about me things so here goes:

'Cause you know I can't resist stealing...

1) What's the most embarrassing thing in your CD collection?
only the things Dave buys or had before we got together embarass me...all my stuff is good!

2) Have you ever stolen anything?
not that I can remember.

3) What (illegal) drugs (if any) have you done?
pot, hash, opium, LSD, mushrooms, underage drinking

4) Who/when was the last person you kissed (bonus points if you can locate a picture of said person on the internet)?
Aidan B.

5) Who's your biggest rock/movie star crush?
Neil Young...shut up!! ( then Bono, then Patrick Stewart there are more...can't think

6) Who's your online crush?
hmmmm, my secret

7) Have you ever made out with anyone on your lj friends list?

8) What's the best gift you've ever received?
anything my kids make for me

9) What's the last dream you remember having?

10) What's the longest you've stayed awake?
oh shit, I have no idea...when I was tripping, it might have been a really long time

11) Girls: ever kissed another girl?
oooh yeah

12) What's the best concert you've ever attended?
Neil Young in Toronto, Donovan P Leitch at Ontario Place ( I even met him, got a hug and an autograph!), Arlo Guthrie at Ontario Place, and Dylan...both times I saw him he was awesome

14) What's the most illegal thing you've ever done?
Likely crossing the border with sheets of acid in my bra and a bunch of hash and opium in my backpack...looking like a freak and hassling the customs guy for " messing up all my stuff!"

15) If you had to give up either music or sex for the rest of your life, which would you pick?
oh dear, oh dear...such a

16) What's your favourite bad-for-you food?

17) Tell your most embarrassing moment.
can't think of one off hand...likely because of the previously mentioned drug use...there have been many I'm sure, I just (luckily) don't remember.

18) What's the craziest thing you've ever done to impress a boy/girl?
I've never done anything to try to impress anyone...I guess I'm just unimpressive.

19) What rockstar would you be a permanent groupie for, no questions asked?
duh...NEIL! ( I even had my youngest child on Neil's birthday)

20) Favourite sex record?
neil Young Zuma

21) What's your biggest guilty pleasure?
white wine and LOUD music

22) You just had twins, one boy and one girl, what are their names?
Nerys and Neil

23) Who's your favourite broken-up band?
the Dead and CSNY ( but they keep getting back together so that doesn't count)

24) What movie have you seen ten times or more?
The Wizard of Oz

25) If you could lose (or get back to re-lose) your virginity to any person living or dead, who would it be?
I'm not answering this one, too painful.

26) What's your favourite food that everyone else thinks is weird/gross?
don't think there is one.

27) What's the best and worst job you've ever had?
Best: manager of Music World (editing the 'stealing' question...I did liberate a few albums with my assistant manager)

28) What's your favourite album that was made before you were born?
Neil Young...hard to pick just one...any of the ones before I was born are awesome. I'll say On The Beach. ...also Joni Mitchell Ladies of the canyon

29) Are you a dog person or a cat person?

30) What's your favourite US city? Favourite city outside the US?
I've never really been anywhere...I don't think Syracuse NY was all that great ! LOL.

31) What's the farthest you've travelled to see a band?
Syracuse NY to see CSN

32) Have you ever made out with more than one person in the same 24 hour period? (if so, how many?)

33) Favourite curse word?
fuck, simple, to the point

34) Favourite euphemism for sex?
i dunno...

35) Favourite song lyric?
too many to mention...changes daily
today it's I'm climbing this ladder, my head in the clouds. I hope that it matters, I'm having my doubts" guess who??

36) Have yo uever had a romantic/sexual encounter with a rock star?

37) What's the weirdest place you've ever kissed etc. anyone?

38) What's the weirdest article of clothing you wear on a regular basis?
I don't wear weird clothes

39) What's the craziest/stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk?
no idea

40) What's your favourite board game?
rock and roll trivia

41) What's your favourite song to dance like you're mental to?
Last Trip to Tulsa ( neil!)

42) Doesn't Madonna rule? It's ok, you can admit it, it's only me and I know she rules.
uh, no

43) What's your favourite part of a man's/woman's body?
jaw, shoulders, eyes

44) What's your favourite smell?
patchouli, cinnamon, lavender

45) What's your favourite drink?
Orange Julius, beer, white wine, mint tea

46) What was your favourite cartoon when you were little?
Captain Caveman, Superfriends

47) What song makes you cry?
oh man...too many

48) What's your favourite pick-up line?

50) You get to rename yourself anything you want. GO!
anything has to be better than what I've got

posted by Tracy at 1:49 PM

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

Picture this...

Me, dancing in the kitchen wearing an orange and purple sarong with a batik fish pattern, ring on my toe, hair all over the place and groovin' to T-Rex's Mambo Sun. I'm making my fabulous Tofu Parmesan while Dave entertains the crew. Outside the window I can hear the kids playing and see a frisbee flying by occasionally. Two cats, one little grey cutie and one big black lazy cat lounge on the kitchen chairs looking hot and looking at me like I'm losing my grip.

This is my life and you know...I really can't complain one bit. Life is good for all it's problems. I may be getting older but I'm still energetic, wild and crazy. As long as there is T-Rex on the radio and Coronas in the fridge, I'll be okay.

No news on the job yet. I'm bummed and relieved and trying not to drive myself crazy worrying about it. Whatever happens will happen and I'll deal with what comes. I'm feeling decidedly poor lately and the poverty is getting me down. I'm fighting it though. I won't let that crap define me and I'll stay strong and not go buy all the Martha Stewart Everyday products at Zellers instead of food so that all my shit will be colour coordinated and lovely and I'll feel like a good suburban housewife. I have the power!!

I have found a few Pagan families here in Burlington and I'm excited that I may get to meet up with some likeminded moms in this SimTown I live in. Dave still thinks the whole thing is a crock of shit and won't even consider checking out the UU church with us but I'm not letting him bring me down.

I have to go grocery shopping again tomorrow morning and I'm sicktofuckingdeath of it. I feel like I live and the freaking grocery store. The kids are really awesome at the store and it's remarkable how well shopping with 5 kids actually goes but damn, I feel like we are always out of everything and like I spend half my life pushing a grocery cart. I could wait until Dave gets home and go with just a couple of kids but we are out of just about everything that is essential to cook anything. I'm also out of shampoo, tea tree oil and dish soap. It's a sad state of affairs and I'm going to have to brave it againg and schlepp off to the store with all 5 kids in tow again. I have chiro in the afternoon and then Oh Joy of Joys...Dave has to go out to the farm to show someone the bus. I'm sooooo hoping he buys the damn thing so I can be rid of it. M and B really need it off the property now that B's parents have sold their house. B's father cannot tolerate the site of the big yellow monster and it needs to be gone before they move out there. I am so thankful to them for letting us keep it out there ( and letting us live out there in it all last summer) and i don't want to cause any trouble or do anything to put them in an awkward position. An added bonus would be that we could really use the money!!

I've decided to give our notice here and find us a more suitable house. Dave is cool with moving again but he has made it clear that he will do NO house hunting, no looking and no decision making. That leaves it all for me to manage with all of the kids. He just wants nothing to do with the whole process but he will move us where ever I decide is best. I hate making major family decisions without his input. It drives me crazy that he won't help with it at all. I really feel like we need out of this house ...we are just tripping over one another here and Terran is starting to want his own room. There are quite a few places we could consider moving to and I just don't know where we should go. I'm feeling really upset that we still can't buy. I'm so tired of renting. I am SO pissed that my accident caused all the trouble it did and put us in this position where our credit is fucked beyond repair and it will be eons before we can ever think of owning a home. I wish there was something creative I could do to fix it...some way I could work my something from nothing magic and get us into a better position. Ah well, we were okay in a school bus, we're okay here in this little house and we'll be okay in another rented house too.

posted by Tracy at 8:48 PM

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Okay,'s been nearly a month, I guess it's time I wrote something here. Life has been so busy and full and the kids just seem to be filling my time so completely that even though I have oodles I could write about, I just don't have the time to do it.

Here is a quick recap of the most exciting events at the Coons house in the past month.

1. Dave and I seem to have once again ridden out the waves and are past the ebb portion of our marriage and are sailing along blissfully as the tide flows in. Over the years we've really seen how cyclical our marriage our feelings for one another ebb and flow and that as long as we don't always expect to be madly in love, then the times when we are totally smitten once again are all the sweeter.
Harry Chapin says it best i his song Circle

"I've found you a thousand times
I guess you've done the same
But then we lose each other
it's just like a children's game
and as I find you here again
a thought runs through my mind
our love is like a circle,
let's go round one more time"

Dontcha just love it?

The world could use more men like sad.

2. We went camping 2 weeks ago with our homeschool buddies to Awenda Provincial Park way up near Penatangueshine ( only places in Ontario have names like that!) It was glorious! The park was lovely, the kids had a great time hanging out and running like a pack of wild dogs with their friends. I got a glimpse of just how grown up my boys are getting when I saw them walking arm in arm and hand in hand with the 2 girls they love best to play and hang with. So sweet and innocent for now...but soon I'll be seeing little budding romances and puppy love crushes. It's bittersweet to watch them grow up. They are getting to be such fine young men though and I'm so proud to know them.

3. While we were camping Dave got a call from a recruiter who is looking for a few candidates for a great job with BMW Canada. He was interested in Dave. He met with him last week and we were supposed to hear today if he gets an interview or not. He made the short list so it's already down to just 3 or 4 candidates...the chances are pretty good but the waiting is killing me. He got a call today and the guy said they won't know until Friday now who will get called back. UGH. We're in a really good situation now. Life where he is now is good...soon to be even better. Major restructuring is in the works and only good things will be happening for Daveyboy according to the grapevine. Of course, if he lands this job it's considerably more money than he's making now, ( certainly more than I expected us to be bringing at this point...Dave is oly 31!) and the job comes with a BeeMer! This may have something to do with how desirable this position seems to him...ya think? Of course if he gets it he'll let the VP where he is now know and see if they'll match it...if they will, he'll stay ( even with no car :P) if not it's adios and hello BMW. Keep all fingers crossed for us if you would be so kind.

4. Taija is reading!! She is a workbook junkie and has been ( at her request) working through her phonics book this week and apparently that approach works for her because suddenly she is reading really well!! She's super excited! We made a 'book worm' for her room out of circles of construction paper. She made a face on one circle for the head and then each time she reads a book all by herself we write the title and author on a circle and stick it up on the wall making a long worm of circles. We'll keep going and watch it get longer and longer, circling her room. I did this back when the boys were about 4 or 5...just writing down all the books we read together to keep track of just how much reading we did. That worm went around our townhouse main floor a few times. It was super cool! She is loving the idea of tracking the books she reads. Her brothers are really helping and encouraging her. I got up the other morning to find Jess, Spence and Taija all curled up in Spencer's bed with a stack of books and Taija reading to them while they helped her if she got stumped. What great kids.

The rest of our lives are just about the same. Days at the beach, making homemade lemonade, games of GO FISH and CRAZY 8's in the screened dining shelter, spraying each other with the hose, bike rides , cooking together and reading to one another. It's summer and it's hotter than Hell in the GTA. ( oh right, the GTA is Hell!)

We are heading to my mom's cottage in a couple of weeks where we'll pitch our tent and hang out and swim and fish and have a blast. I'm finally going to get to meet my dad's birthmom and all his brothers. They all met back in March and I'm the only one who hasn't met them yet. My sister says my Gramma Jennie is terrific and that I'll adore her. Apparently I'm known to my new Grandma and my new Uncles as " our girl" as in..."so, when is 'our girl' going to get down here to visit us"? I can't wait to meet them!

Well, Aidan is up. I got to type more than I expected. I'll try to get back here more often...I miss my blog.

posted by Tracy at 10:12 AM

Saturday, June 08, 2002

11 years ago today at a wedding that wasn't at all what I would have planned, just not me and not Dave, I pledged my love to this man whom I've loved since he was a child.

We met in highschool, I was in 10th grade and he was in 9th. He had a Corey Hart hairdo and braces and he started following me home from school on his bike. He hung around my locker and I couldn't seem to get rid of him. He had bet his friend Rick "Greener" that he'd date me first. Dave won.

We dated on and off through highschool. Most of the time he had a steady girlfriend and only picked me up 'on the side'. I have loved him for more than half of my life and I can't imagine life without him now.

We used to sit under a tree across from his parents' house and make out in the autumn sunshine when we were only 15. We'd talk about getting married and having a family one day. We never imagined that our dreams would all come true and we'd have a large family of 5 amazing children. We were only children ourselves.

We've had a rocky marriage. One of those relationships that is so intensely passionate and so intensely confrontational that it's always in fear of just burning up until there is nothing left. We love one another and hate one another so fiercely that it's a miracle we manage to stay together. We are polar opposites, and somehow we complete one another the way no one else ever could.

We fought today. We always fight on our anniversary. After not speaking for the afternoon, I caved and went to him. I held him close and buried my head in his chest and wept. He wept too. He told me that again that I'm the only person he has ever loved. Just me and his children. He's a loner. He'd prefer not to be with anyone. Most days I'm sure he wishes he didn't love me....but he does.

11 years, 5 children, illness, poverty, happiness and sorrow. We've been through so much together. Today we're drinking Coronas and eating outside with our children. We're going for a nice long walk along the lake with our big crew and holding hands. We're both so thankful to have each other.

posted by Tracy at 2:11 PM

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

So, you took my test. Any surprises? You all got quite a few wrong so I'm assuming there were a few things about me that you just wouldn't have exected. Enquiring minds want to know...

posted by Tracy at 2:25 PM

The schedule for the OFTP conference is up on the website. My workshop is listed in all it's glory. I'm in print! No backing out now ...
Check it out if ya like. The conference looks like it will be a good one. I'm looking forward to it. I get to have lunch and go to the workshops free because I'm presenting, not bad. Dave is going to go to Oakville with the kids and hang out at parks and stuff for the day so that Aidan can be close and I can nurse him when he needs it. I planned my workshop for the first session so that if he can't manage more than that much time away from me at least I get my presentation done before I have to leave. I'm hoping to get through mine, then lunch and at least one workshop before he really misses me too much. It will be the first time he's away from me for any length of time. He'll be 22 months by then.

Here's the schedule

posted by Tracy at 6:03 AM

Sunday, June 02, 2002

Well...since all the cool kids are doing it...

Let's see how you fair...

posted by Tracy at 6:30 AM

Saturday, June 01, 2002

Okay, a little poll for any of you who bother to stop by...

If you could only listen to ONE album for the rest of your life what would it be?
( you can give 2 choices, cuz I couldn't narrow it down more than that either)

Neil Young's On the Beach
Joni Mitchell's Ladies of the Canyon

I tried not to pick compilations, that's kinda cheating I think.

Off to put on some Joni and wash the kitchen floor

peace, all

posted by Tracy at 5:03 PM

I was reading Christine's blog this morning and reminded of that whole " life is a journey, not a destination" thing..but what if you hate the road you're on and there isn't another exit for miles and miles??

Can you tell I'm having a rotten week?

posted by Tracy at 7:03 AM